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Showing posts with label poesia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poesia. Show all posts
Thursday, May 30, 2013
All the arrogance of my hands - by Caio Fern.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
MAÇÃS
por Caio Fernandes 20io
Maçãs...
o vermelho compacto sobre a mesa de madeira escura extende veus de vibraçao feminina por todo espaço.
sinto cheiro de montanhas escondidas dentro dos intervalos de respiraçao calma.
poderia segurar a vida com a ponta dos 5 dedos e deixas eguida no ar contido de uma sala escura.
e nao e isso que faço todos os dias?
inalar.
morder .
ingerir.
sentir.
e soltar o ar...
Maçãs....
nao essa colheita antiga - agora somente amare das galaxias por Caio Fernandes
Nao essa Mare Antiga. Agora somente a Mare das Galaxias.
por Caio Fernandes 2010.
------------------------------------------------------------
voce sabe oque aconteceu?
estavamos colhendo moleculas de culpa dentro dos nossos esquecimentos...
nao,
eu tive que me afastar de tudo,
de voce tambem... e voce morreu para mim.
para sempre. definhnado com o tempo.
estou livre da sua colheita .
354
378
9237
080
94
7749
veloz como caes pastores correm com seus musculos e pelos macios dentro das veias do meu ant-braço enquanto ando sozinho ignorando mundos ao redor para ver apenas minha mente distante daqui.
crescem verdes sob paredes de respiros gostos por intocaveis .
vou deixar a mare das galaxias bater na porta.
por Caio Fernandes 2010.
------------------------------------------------------------
voce sabe oque aconteceu?
estavamos colhendo moleculas de culpa dentro dos nossos esquecimentos...
nao,
eu tive que me afastar de tudo,
de voce tambem... e voce morreu para mim.
para sempre. definhnado com o tempo.
estou livre da sua colheita .
354
378
9237
080
94
7749
veloz como caes pastores correm com seus musculos e pelos macios dentro das veias do meu ant-braço enquanto ando sozinho ignorando mundos ao redor para ver apenas minha mente distante daqui.
crescem verdes sob paredes de respiros gostos por intocaveis .
vou deixar a mare das galaxias bater na porta.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
empty for the Light - by caio fernandes
empty for the Light - by caio fernandes
damaged feelings fron the world , back to the world. now. for the rest of your existence , and leave mine alone. stincky darkness , long heavy sadness , paranoic fear, concret hate , disgusting values of survive . i am smashing all you under my foot against the black hot asfalt that i dispite so much . absolut nothing on this planet is bigger than the fresh taste of havens that float among my eyelashes and explod in my throat. my heart shrinked . not even a atom is able to land on it . the world has no place in me anymore . forget . i never got so opened . i never got so empty . i am just a breath geting lost into levels of space that i can't touch . if God wants to moisten the rest of the grains of my existence with His light . i acept . i swallow . i reflect.......
i spent years destroying myself as a hardware for selfknowledge . i was a live ruin , got free fron myself, well ... at least almost free. but stoped in a isolated place of the earth , and bloody clouds of the world still came to chase me . so i faced him once again. he dind't kill me just because he knew i woudn't care . so he torture me , twisted me .
what is the real value of life , if you can not loose yourself fron the world , and than loose yourself fron yourself ? here comes the world , here comes the identity , here comes the history . let then fall , they belong to thenselfs .
i am here , i am nothing else and here is absolutely nowhere . i never got so opened , i never got so empty , i am just a breath geting lost into levels of space that i can't touch . if God wants to moisten the rest of the grains of my existence with His light . i acept , i swallow , i reflect .
life !? i am feeling a impulse of life... but it is a completely diferent shine of everything i have lived before . it shines pure and strong , and i happilly reflect the way i can .
MY APPLE VALUES - by Caio Fernandes
the freezing air sang a lost praying this night , darkness licked the core of my bones . slowly a tight roon of sadness was bilt around breath . a lonely pierce taste the depth of my chest .
weird sensation that for one minute God took off His Hand.
old window , kind of broken , blows a new gentle light . the winter day woke up before the birds and the end of the dreans . the breeze lifts my spine to a floor of shy smiles . green leafs are stil coming fron my skin . i have changed my blood cells for white , blue , purple tiny flowers .
i am a man with heavy axes on hands , and use this for cut every link that try to remains between me and this vicious world that dances primitivily around my house (when loose , this home sails over the clouds ) . i am here to protect who i love . my apple values . mein welt.
golden and silver shines lie on my fingers (sky caress) . i , exausted , sit donw . deep movements of heart sparkles in silence : be very welcome ... external light of the day , come and drink a white tea with me . i am going to paint , while the blue eyes of the cat get closed on my lap , and the blue eyes of my model stares at me , it makes me happy ( silly verses like this must to rhyme ) .
weird sensation that for one minute God took off His Hand.
old window , kind of broken , blows a new gentle light . the winter day woke up before the birds and the end of the dreans . the breeze lifts my spine to a floor of shy smiles . green leafs are stil coming fron my skin . i have changed my blood cells for white , blue , purple tiny flowers .
i am a man with heavy axes on hands , and use this for cut every link that try to remains between me and this vicious world that dances primitivily around my house (when loose , this home sails over the clouds ) . i am here to protect who i love . my apple values . mein welt.
golden and silver shines lie on my fingers (sky caress) . i , exausted , sit donw . deep movements of heart sparkles in silence : be very welcome ... external light of the day , come and drink a white tea with me . i am going to paint , while the blue eyes of the cat get closed on my lap , and the blue eyes of my model stares at me , it makes me happy ( silly verses like this must to rhyme ) .
green dreans of a sheep . - by caio fernandes.
green dreans of a sheep . - by caio fernandes.
the sun turned into a merry whisper - not yet
the sun turned into a red whisper - no
the sun turned into a berry whisper . whispers-set behind her purple trees . her whispers , her kiss ( her kisses reveal landscapes in me ) . warm curves of the path , for a straight destiny . warm curves of the female ........ i' m lost .
the transparency of the wings that blows fron my back covering the both hemispheres of this sweet blue green taste . tastes like eternity in bloom .
when Saskia extends her hand it reflects the light of her dreans as a swimming pool . i can even see those reflections dancing on the ceiling .
yesterday :
the black wet stinky disgusting asfalt's mud on shoulders and neck .
- what is this comig fron the top of my head? blood!!?!!
-they are comig again , dad , i see shadows of bodys on the corner.
- hide yourself behind the garbage Melissa . be quiet .
- ohh no no , it isnt then . they aren't coming any more , i am pretty sure now , they went to the subway .
- you're ok , aren't you ?don't tell your mother about this . she is preparing a apfel strudel for the dinner's dessert .
- look dad ! the concrete is cracking everywhere . sidewalk , walls .... there are tinny blue flowers , and yellow , and white growing in it .... is the concrete geting old , dad ?
- yes honey ... and our time to live is coming .
- amen ( and started the singing : grun grun grun grun ist meine welt ... grun grun grun grun ist meine ....)
- AMEN .
the Jesus white light stands me up . i just keep walking , holding the child's hand . i just keep walking against the poluited wind that snarls against us . it is always solitarie to feel like to cry , and hold in silence . Sao Paulo is a altar of sacrifice in the form of a dusty concrete block in this world that is suposed to be beautiful . my body lives in Sao Paulo , keeps walking . while i build the green dreans of a sheep . thank you Lord for your blessings . thank you for give me one more chance .
- we are going to eat apfel strudel for dessert , aren't we , dad ?
- yes we are , honey . YES WE ARE.
today :
the sun turned into a merry red berry whisper ... it is so easy to love her yet .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok girls , don't panic . i am still single . Saskia is the only one that realy happened in my life , but ... now al the time i am with another woman , what is rare , and she start's to gets on my nerves , i get deaf and blind and pretend Saskia is there .
( Saskia Hagenaars Verveen Morrone : 1977 - 2005 )
Melissa isn't my daughter . she is 8 years old and i am the only adult man that she met since she was 2 years old . to call me dad is her personal joke , she actualy doesn't believe in it (what is even sadier because i love her ) . her mother Cecilia is a widow that gives piano classes in her onw home for to live . and some times prepare italian or german recepies adapted for our vegan lifestyle , than she calls me for taste and trys to teach me how to prepare , but i never learn , i just preparie in home my onw bronw bread , green os white tea , and some vegetables ... and when i am loaded , feeling like to eat as a milionarie , i buy a doritos bag ( the large one baby!! yeah!!) .
between Cecilia and me , will never hapem anything : our friendship is too perfect to be destroyed by sex and wedding ( she says) . the truth is that she knows i still have this Saskia hole in me and she doesn't acept to be a mere substitute . what is fair enough . and she expects fron a man what her husband was , while i am the oposite of that . he was a wealthy successful guy , and i pray for the miracle of the multiplication on my painting materials as Jesus did with fishies and bread for the crowd ( what seens to works ) .
so we both are patetics and live haunted by our pasts . nothing bad for 2 people that have met at the college in 1997 , studing psichology .
the sun turned into a merry whisper - not yet
the sun turned into a red whisper - no
the sun turned into a berry whisper . whispers-set behind her purple trees . her whispers , her kiss ( her kisses reveal landscapes in me ) . warm curves of the path , for a straight destiny . warm curves of the female ........ i' m lost .
the transparency of the wings that blows fron my back covering the both hemispheres of this sweet blue green taste . tastes like eternity in bloom .
when Saskia extends her hand it reflects the light of her dreans as a swimming pool . i can even see those reflections dancing on the ceiling .
yesterday :
the black wet stinky disgusting asfalt's mud on shoulders and neck .
- what is this comig fron the top of my head? blood!!?!!
-they are comig again , dad , i see shadows of bodys on the corner.
- hide yourself behind the garbage Melissa . be quiet .
- ohh no no , it isnt then . they aren't coming any more , i am pretty sure now , they went to the subway .
- you're ok , aren't you ?don't tell your mother about this . she is preparing a apfel strudel for the dinner's dessert .
- look dad ! the concrete is cracking everywhere . sidewalk , walls .... there are tinny blue flowers , and yellow , and white growing in it .... is the concrete geting old , dad ?
- yes honey ... and our time to live is coming .
- amen ( and started the singing : grun grun grun grun ist meine welt ... grun grun grun grun ist meine ....)
- AMEN .
the Jesus white light stands me up . i just keep walking , holding the child's hand . i just keep walking against the poluited wind that snarls against us . it is always solitarie to feel like to cry , and hold in silence . Sao Paulo is a altar of sacrifice in the form of a dusty concrete block in this world that is suposed to be beautiful . my body lives in Sao Paulo , keeps walking . while i build the green dreans of a sheep . thank you Lord for your blessings . thank you for give me one more chance .
- we are going to eat apfel strudel for dessert , aren't we , dad ?
- yes we are , honey . YES WE ARE.
today :
the sun turned into a merry red berry whisper ... it is so easy to love her yet .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok girls , don't panic . i am still single . Saskia is the only one that realy happened in my life , but ... now al the time i am with another woman , what is rare , and she start's to gets on my nerves , i get deaf and blind and pretend Saskia is there .
( Saskia Hagenaars Verveen Morrone : 1977 - 2005 )
Melissa isn't my daughter . she is 8 years old and i am the only adult man that she met since she was 2 years old . to call me dad is her personal joke , she actualy doesn't believe in it (what is even sadier because i love her ) . her mother Cecilia is a widow that gives piano classes in her onw home for to live . and some times prepare italian or german recepies adapted for our vegan lifestyle , than she calls me for taste and trys to teach me how to prepare , but i never learn , i just preparie in home my onw bronw bread , green os white tea , and some vegetables ... and when i am loaded , feeling like to eat as a milionarie , i buy a doritos bag ( the large one baby!! yeah!!) .
between Cecilia and me , will never hapem anything : our friendship is too perfect to be destroyed by sex and wedding ( she says) . the truth is that she knows i still have this Saskia hole in me and she doesn't acept to be a mere substitute . what is fair enough . and she expects fron a man what her husband was , while i am the oposite of that . he was a wealthy successful guy , and i pray for the miracle of the multiplication on my painting materials as Jesus did with fishies and bread for the crowd ( what seens to works ) .
so we both are patetics and live haunted by our pasts . nothing bad for 2 people that have met at the college in 1997 , studing psichology .
portraits of innocence and individuality - 2009 and 2005 - by Caio Fernandes.
portraits of innocence and individuality - 2009 and 2005 - by Caio Fernandes.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS POST WITH THE ORIGINAL IMAGES VISIT MEIN WELT
this title isn't mine , was writen by Barbara Dayer Gallati on the first chapter of her book " children of the gilded era " . that i found in 2007 at Tate Gallerie .
in 2000 , 2001 , 2002 i was developing a work that i can say i was very secure and satisfied with the results .at the time i painted my head every day just concerned with the light on it and volumes , it wasn't self-portrait , searching the very core of human soul , i called slices of soul , or psico slices . and not just me was apreciating , it was being recognized receiving awards , being sold , and i had a great sckedule filled with many exhibitions .but at the year of 2003 i got into a crises , and that work didn't express what i need in my life . so i stoped to paint .
i din't want a work that looked like contemporary art anymore .but i wasn't sure what i had to do .
in 2004 i saw a documentarie about the life and work of Balthus , i always had simpaty for his work , but this time i jumped fron the sofa . that was what i want . i got . i wanna for some reason i didn't understand yet , reach the life that artists as Renoir , Sargent , John Everett Millais painted . i was sick of the urban , corporative , fashion Sao Paulo's life style .i was at this time living complitely alone in a old durty house , that the kids of the neighborhood believed was haunted . i looked like the Nosferatu of that german mude movie ( i always forget the name of the director ) .and sundely i saw myself doing skechts of paintings of litlle girls and boys playing with boxers and german shepards , as the scennes of my childhood when i lived on the german neighborhood of Alto da Boa Vista , when it was german , before the brasilians discover the area , kill all the trees , all the wild life , and make the local people get so discusting that felt forced to leave ( i HATE brasilians , i am one of then , but i am not one of then ) . ( ok call this neorotic )
i never was able to paint those first paintings i drawed before because i din't find models at the time , not even the right landscapes . , but in 2004 and 2005 i started to do few works , my house started to looks like another dimmention , by the decoration , and the concept of it ,that made me forget the country and world i was living , any single estetic value of it looked like you will find in Sao Paulo or brazil . i din't speak portuguese any more , i created a dialet , mixed of english , german , sao paulo's portuguese very italian accent , and elfic , of the lord of the rings book ( thanks Tolkien ) . i lost all my friends because they stated to believe i got nazi , but here in brasil if you drink tea , eat potatoes with cabage and mostard , and listen Mozart they call you nazi any way . even my family took distance . it looked esquisofrenie , but i had total conscience of what i was doing . the money stoped to come in and i got really poor , doing 1 meal every 2 or 3 days .
then i started to be able to criate , but just 20 works a year . in 2006 my sister asked me help for start a marketing and advertising company , she got graduated, and din't want to work as a employe any more , so for 10 months i worked 18 hours a day and got money enough to pay a long travel to Europe and spend 6 months studing in London . then my nerves calmed donw , and i was able to see and undestand what i was looking for in my life , i got even more in loved with it .
when i came back to Sao Paulo in the second semestre of 2007 , i felt in a deep , long depression again , but decieded to back to work now in 2009 . so i am learnig again how to painting .
you must to think that it is all very ridiculous and was a waist of time , and i understand very well . but if you was bourned here , being educated to believe that every single thing about europe culture and people is wrong and must to be changed , being european decendent , and whaching a population of your country taking every day decisions that you don't agree , watching the natural life being murdered , by a progress that just bring social conflicts , concret , ignorance and crimes . whachting the good values being replaced for prejudice ...... people hating you because you don't want to be hipocret , mediocre , unhonest ...... seeing the love of your life being murdered by a clone of a national hero jiu jitso fhighter that wasn't arrested because is son of a influent politician of the court house ( and risking your neck just because wrote this in a blog , even in english ) . ....... maybe , maybe you would understend me .
the painting of the girl and aple was painted last monday . the other is fron 2005 . i like to see the diferences . trusth me ; is the same girl . but for me it is just a self-portrait . the 2005 one is darker , has fear , that little being is lost and fragil . the 2009 one , the girl is well fixed on the centre , secure of herself , she has all that ornamental mess and tentantions of the world over her head , but she does't care . she kind of turn her back for it . as she was untouchble . i wrote Jesus Cristo under it but din't want to give a religious conotation for the painting , i just felt to put a white spot into the blue , the Jesus idea came because i heard someone on the street screaming : OH JESUS!! WHAT IS THIS?!!! . it was funny , as you know , i am christian , so it seemed to be perfect .
can you believe than when i came fron London , the only thing i wanted to see here in Sao Paulo was this painting of the little girl ? some times i think i just came back to see it again . i remember myself in the museuns looking to the great masters and thinking about this painting .
you have no idea how important it is to me . in 2007 a asshole stupidy curator asked me to be part of a exhibition , but didn't acept to show this work , it wasn't good enough , contemporary enough , he just want the works made till 2002 . i gave what he asked , but never went to see that stupid exhibition . people saw on the news paper , but for me it never happened , just helped to make the depression get deeper . i HATE all then . my head forgive it , but not my heart .
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS POST WITH THE ORIGINAL IMAGES VISIT MEIN WELT
this title isn't mine , was writen by Barbara Dayer Gallati on the first chapter of her book " children of the gilded era " . that i found in 2007 at Tate Gallerie .
in 2000 , 2001 , 2002 i was developing a work that i can say i was very secure and satisfied with the results .at the time i painted my head every day just concerned with the light on it and volumes , it wasn't self-portrait , searching the very core of human soul , i called slices of soul , or psico slices . and not just me was apreciating , it was being recognized receiving awards , being sold , and i had a great sckedule filled with many exhibitions .but at the year of 2003 i got into a crises , and that work didn't express what i need in my life . so i stoped to paint .
i din't want a work that looked like contemporary art anymore .but i wasn't sure what i had to do .
in 2004 i saw a documentarie about the life and work of Balthus , i always had simpaty for his work , but this time i jumped fron the sofa . that was what i want . i got . i wanna for some reason i didn't understand yet , reach the life that artists as Renoir , Sargent , John Everett Millais painted . i was sick of the urban , corporative , fashion Sao Paulo's life style .i was at this time living complitely alone in a old durty house , that the kids of the neighborhood believed was haunted . i looked like the Nosferatu of that german mude movie ( i always forget the name of the director ) .and sundely i saw myself doing skechts of paintings of litlle girls and boys playing with boxers and german shepards , as the scennes of my childhood when i lived on the german neighborhood of Alto da Boa Vista , when it was german , before the brasilians discover the area , kill all the trees , all the wild life , and make the local people get so discusting that felt forced to leave ( i HATE brasilians , i am one of then , but i am not one of then ) . ( ok call this neorotic )
i never was able to paint those first paintings i drawed before because i din't find models at the time , not even the right landscapes . , but in 2004 and 2005 i started to do few works , my house started to looks like another dimmention , by the decoration , and the concept of it ,that made me forget the country and world i was living , any single estetic value of it looked like you will find in Sao Paulo or brazil . i din't speak portuguese any more , i created a dialet , mixed of english , german , sao paulo's portuguese very italian accent , and elfic , of the lord of the rings book ( thanks Tolkien ) . i lost all my friends because they stated to believe i got nazi , but here in brasil if you drink tea , eat potatoes with cabage and mostard , and listen Mozart they call you nazi any way . even my family took distance . it looked esquisofrenie , but i had total conscience of what i was doing . the money stoped to come in and i got really poor , doing 1 meal every 2 or 3 days .
then i started to be able to criate , but just 20 works a year . in 2006 my sister asked me help for start a marketing and advertising company , she got graduated, and din't want to work as a employe any more , so for 10 months i worked 18 hours a day and got money enough to pay a long travel to Europe and spend 6 months studing in London . then my nerves calmed donw , and i was able to see and undestand what i was looking for in my life , i got even more in loved with it .
when i came back to Sao Paulo in the second semestre of 2007 , i felt in a deep , long depression again , but decieded to back to work now in 2009 . so i am learnig again how to painting .
you must to think that it is all very ridiculous and was a waist of time , and i understand very well . but if you was bourned here , being educated to believe that every single thing about europe culture and people is wrong and must to be changed , being european decendent , and whaching a population of your country taking every day decisions that you don't agree , watching the natural life being murdered , by a progress that just bring social conflicts , concret , ignorance and crimes . whachting the good values being replaced for prejudice ...... people hating you because you don't want to be hipocret , mediocre , unhonest ...... seeing the love of your life being murdered by a clone of a national hero jiu jitso fhighter that wasn't arrested because is son of a influent politician of the court house ( and risking your neck just because wrote this in a blog , even in english ) . ....... maybe , maybe you would understend me .
the painting of the girl and aple was painted last monday . the other is fron 2005 . i like to see the diferences . trusth me ; is the same girl . but for me it is just a self-portrait . the 2005 one is darker , has fear , that little being is lost and fragil . the 2009 one , the girl is well fixed on the centre , secure of herself , she has all that ornamental mess and tentantions of the world over her head , but she does't care . she kind of turn her back for it . as she was untouchble . i wrote Jesus Cristo under it but din't want to give a religious conotation for the painting , i just felt to put a white spot into the blue , the Jesus idea came because i heard someone on the street screaming : OH JESUS!! WHAT IS THIS?!!! . it was funny , as you know , i am christian , so it seemed to be perfect .
can you believe than when i came fron London , the only thing i wanted to see here in Sao Paulo was this painting of the little girl ? some times i think i just came back to see it again . i remember myself in the museuns looking to the great masters and thinking about this painting .
you have no idea how important it is to me . in 2007 a asshole stupidy curator asked me to be part of a exhibition , but didn't acept to show this work , it wasn't good enough , contemporary enough , he just want the works made till 2002 . i gave what he asked , but never went to see that stupid exhibition . people saw on the news paper , but for me it never happened , just helped to make the depression get deeper . i HATE all then . my head forgive it , but not my heart .
Friday, July 16, 2010
i think i have heard this joke somewhere -- by Caio fernandes - 2009 - inspired by painting sheltered heart , i am the re incarnation
i think i have heard this joke somewhere -- by Caio fernandes - 2009 - inspired by painting sheltered heart , i am the re incarnation
poem inspired by the painting " sheltered heart , iam the re-incarnation" , by Caio Fernandes .
i got skins of white petals drowning memories of ancient breaths......i got the wide cold sky into a glass of water .
the simple " just because " fron the Heaven and i got sheltered .
i got i got i got .i got nothing on Earth , honney .
there was a tiny effort of the brize to move the leafs fron the forgotten ground .
the floor is so abstract . smels like a abyss for my neck .
i shouldn't be on this planet . when i die just write " E.T phone home or "leave me alone " on my gravestone .
( i think i have heard this joke alread somewhere )
as while the air reflects the sun light and the space between our smiles echo all the distant galaxies ... ..... it is so easy to love her , and her , and her , and her.... it is so easy to leave all then ...... and stay quiet , staring the void being filled with concret dust and the touchs of the cats .
( i think i have heard this joke alread somewhere )
and how many times will i have to hear again ? and how many times will i have to wonder the bless of the life , incarnate a new body , experiment , experiment , till find my lovely home sweet home . that i know since my first incarnation that isn't on Earth .
.... to give up of the first person of the singular ...
.... to give up of all the persons of all the times .....
i got skins of white petals drowning memories of ancient breaths . but not enough .and the steam of running thoughts dives into the " once upon a time : the silence " .
it is so easy to love ( intence ) her for the whole eternity , and then leave her for ever ..... and all hers of my life .
be a man , shelter your heart and reliase your dick .
( i think i have heard this joke before somewhere )
i know where i heard this joke ! the destiny told me this joke . all the useless time .and the stupidy here laughs . it 's not funny . what a horrible joke . i hate jokes and i hate to play .
i am going to sit here . and exist . just exist till the end . till all the veins get melted , till the nerves get eaten by the atmosphere . till all the voices of the world shut up into their onw riots . until i give up of the first person of the singular . all the idea of "I" , isn't me , isn't mine .
Jesus , i trust you to be my intermediary for be able to talk to THE FATHER .
all the real beault and truth of this planet doesn't come fron this planet .
all the real beault and truth of this dimension doesn't come fron this dimension .
not even the rare lapses of purity that some hearts have once in life ...... every single criature is just a link for unreachble distances .... i don't understand why .. why all this work .
( and a supernova sings uder my tongue )
thank You Sir
the simple " just because " fron the Heaven and i got sheltered . it is all i need to hear .
poem inspired by the painting " sheltered heart , iam the re-incarnation" , by Caio Fernandes .
i got skins of white petals drowning memories of ancient breaths......i got the wide cold sky into a glass of water .
the simple " just because " fron the Heaven and i got sheltered .
i got i got i got .i got nothing on Earth , honney .
there was a tiny effort of the brize to move the leafs fron the forgotten ground .
the floor is so abstract . smels like a abyss for my neck .
i shouldn't be on this planet . when i die just write " E.T phone home or "leave me alone " on my gravestone .
( i think i have heard this joke alread somewhere )
as while the air reflects the sun light and the space between our smiles echo all the distant galaxies ... ..... it is so easy to love her , and her , and her , and her.... it is so easy to leave all then ...... and stay quiet , staring the void being filled with concret dust and the touchs of the cats .
( i think i have heard this joke alread somewhere )
and how many times will i have to hear again ? and how many times will i have to wonder the bless of the life , incarnate a new body , experiment , experiment , till find my lovely home sweet home . that i know since my first incarnation that isn't on Earth .
.... to give up of the first person of the singular ...
.... to give up of all the persons of all the times .....
i got skins of white petals drowning memories of ancient breaths . but not enough .and the steam of running thoughts dives into the " once upon a time : the silence " .
it is so easy to love ( intence ) her for the whole eternity , and then leave her for ever ..... and all hers of my life .
be a man , shelter your heart and reliase your dick .
( i think i have heard this joke before somewhere )
i know where i heard this joke ! the destiny told me this joke . all the useless time .and the stupidy here laughs . it 's not funny . what a horrible joke . i hate jokes and i hate to play .
i am going to sit here . and exist . just exist till the end . till all the veins get melted , till the nerves get eaten by the atmosphere . till all the voices of the world shut up into their onw riots . until i give up of the first person of the singular . all the idea of "I" , isn't me , isn't mine .
Jesus , i trust you to be my intermediary for be able to talk to THE FATHER .
all the real beault and truth of this planet doesn't come fron this planet .
all the real beault and truth of this dimension doesn't come fron this dimension .
not even the rare lapses of purity that some hearts have once in life ...... every single criature is just a link for unreachble distances .... i don't understand why .. why all this work .
( and a supernova sings uder my tongue )
thank You Sir
the simple " just because " fron the Heaven and i got sheltered . it is all i need to hear .
tracking by Caio Fernandes
tracking
tracking breaths of lost distances
the world curves its own sizes as a ring- toy on my fingers
i didn't have flashs of lights in an obvious lead , so choose to acept forgoten paths as they were new songs . and my cheast found life in a green pond inside .
my bloodhound instinct smells my own feelings at the other side of the world , used by fragil sincere hands .
you know what ? all my intutions fail . i don't know what to feel anymore . just keep going , traking , traking , traking ......
i am here , the universe all around , and just that .
no especific references , i follow the void .
the only way to find myself or something else is geting lost . again . traking feelings , as they were new songs .
tracking breaths of lost distances
the world curves its own sizes as a ring- toy on my fingers
i didn't have flashs of lights in an obvious lead , so choose to acept forgoten paths as they were new songs . and my cheast found life in a green pond inside .
my bloodhound instinct smells my own feelings at the other side of the world , used by fragil sincere hands .
you know what ? all my intutions fail . i don't know what to feel anymore . just keep going , traking , traking , traking ......
i am here , the universe all around , and just that .
no especific references , i follow the void .
the only way to find myself or something else is geting lost . again . traking feelings , as they were new songs .
extinct kinds of molecules want a new life . by Caio Fernades
extinct kinds of molecules want a new life .
my left hand over my left thigh . my right hand searching internal shines that scape to the air .
than my right fingers passing through my left fingers . cells of stars fall fron all over .
it is embarrassing to have the dna of light and don't see it .
- what you're looking for is inside of you
- i always knew that , but i don't find a way .
she prepared the tea and served me in a very ornamented cup , delicated porcelain . blue and pink drawings . details of gold . hot hot hot, smelled like flowers ..... aroma of windows . wide opened ones . increasing beautys inside me . but i got empty . i couldn't touch that . as the space inside my chest was infinite comparing with everything around .
what is a man suposed to do when its own nature , the best nature , is out of reach ? how can i bring this up and live with .....?
God God God !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God God God......................
extinct specimes of molecules left crystal impressions on ancient memories that i don't know how i am carring .
but they are here inside , are part of me . they are older than me . i don't know what to do with this .
a bless
a puzzle
my left hand over my left thigh . my right hand searching internal shines that scape to the air .
than my right fingers passing through my left fingers . cells of stars fall fron all over .
it is embarrassing to have the dna of light and don't see it .
- what you're looking for is inside of you
- i always knew that , but i don't find a way .
she prepared the tea and served me in a very ornamented cup , delicated porcelain . blue and pink drawings . details of gold . hot hot hot, smelled like flowers ..... aroma of windows . wide opened ones . increasing beautys inside me . but i got empty . i couldn't touch that . as the space inside my chest was infinite comparing with everything around .
what is a man suposed to do when its own nature , the best nature , is out of reach ? how can i bring this up and live with .....?
God God God !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God God God......................
extinct specimes of molecules left crystal impressions on ancient memories that i don't know how i am carring .
but they are here inside , are part of me . they are older than me . i don't know what to do with this .
a bless
a puzzle
Giny , Araucaria , and the Montain . - by Caio Fernandes . 2009 .
Giny , Araucaria , and the Montain . - by Caio Fernandes . 2009 .
Photo by Gunter Roesler 1968.
The dogs and cats are with my mother . It is friday night and has been some thing around 7 hours that i left home , feeling so free and light alread ; just me and my faithful backpack that has followed me for so many years around the world . I had no machines , just a jack-knife and a longer knife almost the size of a sword and cloths , a bag of soy pizza flavor and a gallon of water .
I was climbing the montain at dark , there under the trees has absolut no light , the forest is too closed and intence , i am just able to walk because it is a litle path i know sinse i was a litle boy . It was some thing like 12 degrees in Sao Paulo , on the montain was below zero . I love this temperature ! After hours i arrived at the litle shack and opened its door , lighted a fire . Home .
I see that it is cleaner than i imagined , i prefer to believe that a very romantic couple found this place months ago . Everything is on its right place . As it has been for the last 30 years .
My family on the winter hollidays used to come to a house near this place , at this same montain . While they liked going to the town shopping and eating at the restaurants , i liked to stay alone , playing among the trees of the forest . But who showed me this hiden shack was a gay couple that had a house near here too , they didn't build it but used to come here before of to buy their house . These two mans were very polite with me and filled my mind with fantastic storys of their jouney around the world . I dont remember their names , sad . But the day i saw this litle house for the first time i told it would be my general headquarter ; they said it is ok for then .
The shack is so perfect ! Alvenary with details in wood . Small , just a bedroon and a tiny kitchen with an english wood oven made of iron fron the 19th centure . At the bedroom there is a couple bed . Nobody knows who constructed it , or why . but it is there , opened for every one . today it is exactly the same way , but i hanged a Jesus picture on the wall 17 years ago and wrote under it :" this house is opened for you , be welcome " .
This friday night I was feeling a green light of glory around my exausted body when i went to bed . Listening the loud sinfony of the forest . Here never had silence , all the animals that you never saw and will never see make the most weird sounds after sunset . Sometimes you are sure that spirits of evil women are calling your name . Sometimes you have the feeling that some kind of unknow being are walking around the walls of the house , smeling you and cursing your blood . Don't worry , those are just some sounds of the tropical jungle at night . I slept and dreamed with colorfull shines that got into my bed and danced all over my skin . Puting me on the roof where i could see stars singing futures and dimentions .
Morning . Misty montain calling me , holding my hand while i re-discovered every single specime of plant , while the squirrels climbeb the trees for to get the tiny red coconuts , same size of a cherry . And the monkeys gave the first screems . By the colour of the air and position of the few sun i can see among the leafs it is 5 o'clock . I went to the creek near here and took some water . Freezing . The cold air on my face and hands make me feel alive and brand new . The smell of the fog over the plants gets into the skin feeding my breath ....
I do nothing , just try to walk , for who doesn't know this kind of wood , the plants here do not allow you to get into the forest and go further . It is too dense for human body and the chances of be found by a snake or spider are strong . But with this weather the snakes must to be far way in rocky places looking for the sunshines . I try to find the monkeys . I know they are the size of a Lhasa Apso , but it is too rare to see then . They are over me , i listen then , see the branchs moving , but all the plants hide then fron my sight . They are making a huge noise now , they always did . And it is going to be for the whole day . They argue and fight all the time . It is a hell , but what can i do ? this is their territory , they have had this behaviour for thousands of years . I pretend don't care .
After a couple of hours i decided to climb down the montain i litle bit and go to visit "the farm" . The old path was totaly invaded by the plants . But the trees and rocks are the same , there is no way i get lost , it seens that i was there one week before . Started to collect on the way petals , herbs and leafs for prepare tea , and pinhao for eat . Pinhao is a kind of nut fron a very particular kind of pine that just exist on this part of the world named Araucaria . There are other kinds of Araucaria here that we don't eat the pinhao . But this kind of nut can't be eaten raw , must to be coocked before . I got kilos of it and put into my backpack . the sound of the blue birds and the cicadas around invited me to get further and i forgot the monkeys noise fastly .
The Farm : " Giny" , i am not sure , was a friend of a friend of my parents . One day i went there with my mother , at her farm for a dinner , i was 3 or 4 years old , and i remember . I am just sure that the first time i went alone into the woods was for trying to find her .
She breeds horses , arabian and english pure bloods for hipism ( i don't know the name of this sport in english when the horses have to jump obstacles , fences ... equestrianism ? something like that ) . I came to see the horses and even more for to see her : Giny is how i wrote her name sinse i was a kid . One of the first words i learned to write . But i don't know if the right way to write her name is Jeannie or Jenny ...and i have no idea of her last name . Is Giny for me , for ever . What I like to see is her colection of pines . She has pines fron all over the world , lots of specimes , fron the most comuns to the most exotics . And to arrive to her house i have to pass through these little pines forest . Their view and smell are like a gigantic green gate for me ; this "pine wood" divides the world behind fron Giny's lands .
Now the farm is old , the stables are empty , i saw just 3 old horses far way . After 15 minutes walking i am able to see the house . The house must to be painted . Giny must to be with 80 years old now or more .
She was beautiful , the kind of woman that is the every man's dream . Tall , blonde , thin , large breasts , huge legs , a face that makes you forget all the words ... you know what i am talking about . She never got married , i don't know her story , she never got friends too . But by all i saw of her very very strong personality , i prefer to think it was an option .
My first memory that comes to mind when i think of her , is when i was 7 years old . I had spent all the mornig far fron my parents losing myself into the forest . So i decided to visit Giny , she liked me and was the only one that talked with me as i was an adult and not a kid .
When i got there all the employees where hiding thenselfs and the horses screaming loud in panic . I was able to , behind the trees and bushs get closer of the house and see what was happening , there was a onça on the roof of the house ( onça here is the same than a cougar or puma ) . I was near it , behind a tree facing in silence the onça and it muscles . She was nervous , showing the fangs , loud angry noises with no name . Sundely i listen a car engine , and that silver Mercedes Bens stops in front of the house . Giny alone comes out of it . Magnificent , long black leather boots till the knees , black pants , a white polo t-shirt , her big breasts with no bra ...long blond hair , sun glasses . She stops few metros fron the onça . Takes out the classes . Looks at me ( she was the only human that saw me there , all the employes were hiden far far way fron there ) . she extends her left hand in my direction calling me with a smile . I runned fast to her arms . and hugged her thighs staring the animal . she faces it and say : " You can go now , go to your family " . The onça went to the ground in silence , calm , slowly , jumped in direction of the forest and went away .
I hugged Ginys thighs hard , my lips touched her belly under the t-shirt , i kissed her warm golden skin and looked up to those big breasts in white cotton canvases , her face shined . For seconds i felt her as a man must to feel a woman . She smiled to me passing the left hand on my hair and the right one on my back . Then the employes came runing making noises and eager to tell their impressions and versions of the fact . I hated then , and sinse then i decided that i would never hire people to work for me ...... she has 60 years old or someting at this time . But for a 7 years old kid , 60 and 30 makes no diference . It is all adult . Even so , she was reachable , she was mine for those secounds .
At the same hollidays , but other day , i was observing the horses , while she prepared her favorite dark english one and one of the arabians for me . I thought i would ride the short arabian one , as i was used to ride brazilian breeds as Manga Larga and Campolina , horses the same size of the arabians . But she told me to go to the english one . I got scared and exited : " Wow , really ?!! He is so tall and fast ?!! " , .... she looked at me seriously :" You must to . You have total control of the german shepherds of your house , you control the people that works for your father and mother , control of the cats ... you are gentle and good , even so make then obey your orders . If you dominate this horse today , nobody in your life will never be able to tell you what to do ."
This was the way her mind worked . I didn't know that the horse was a sweet one , so i decided to "climb " him , and spent all that afternoon riding him over the clifs and among the pines feeling as i was the most powerfull and free man on the world .
So this saturday now i got into the house . Called her name , she came fron the attic , loked at me and gave that perfect smile . She recognized me at first glance and huged me making me feel confortable . She is shorter than i am now . And the last years haven't being kind with her . Last time we met was few years ago .
On the table i put the pinhoes , asked her to cook then . It would be ready in 1 day . Not for lunch . She was preparing lunch alred , the kitchen had a sutil aroma of food . We talked about the farm , then she told me about the newest object , a computer . Till begining of 90's the house didn't even have eletric energy , telephone or gas , she dispited modern things but cars , and still does , but because of the age , she decided to have some of then . She fired all the employes ( YES!! well done !! ) , sold the horses and just kept 3 very old females with her . She says are easy to take care . I told her i had a blog , and showed it . She didn't know i've been a painter for the last 10 years !! I didn't know i have never told her about this . What makes me feel good . In front of her i was just myself , anything else . She saw the blog and laughed .
The meal was just integral rise , coocked vegetables and honey-mostard . She isn't vegan like me , but eats few meet , as always did . The only meat i saw on her table all those years was the bunnys she used to breed . Once she killed a white one of then in front of me , i was 6 years old or less . She was very gentle , respectfull , kissed the poor animal and killed him with just one moviment , no pain , no fear . But even so i don't like to remember that .
After lunch we laid on the lawn with the view to the valley as we used to do sinse the first times i started to visit her . There are no flowers on the sides anymore . Used to have red -purple flowers dividing the lawn to the forest . At afternoon , litle foxes used to put their head among the flowers for to observe us . chating chating chating .........we love to do this , we chat about nothing , Giny doesn't talk with anybody , she doesn't like anyone , just me . it makes me feel important and previleged .
The view of the valley is splendid , but i know that when Giny dies , the farm that is huge , will be sold by the family to companys that are going to construct condonms , golf fields .... streets ...hell , just the ork's hell .
After sunset i went back to the forest and to the shack . There , i slept fast . Next day i spent all the time drinking tea of petals , herbs and leafs i found , praying for God , Jesus , walking around the area , geting courage to wash myself with the freezing water of the creek .... at the afternoon i started to fix the old doors and windows of the "home" . Nothing complicated , this shack is really a blessed place , never needs to rebuilding nothing , nobody takes care of it , anyone comes here to maintain , and it never gets old . a mistery , a miracle .
At night i started to throw up . It is great . When i was a kid and came with my family , for the first 2 days i felt normal , but at tird and forth days i got in bed , just throwing up... it was the organism expeling the Sao Paulo's poluition . At 5th day i was brand new again . Ready for more adventures . It hapens with less intencity now but still does . What is very very good .
Monday , today , i went back to the farm , Giny had prepared pinhao , we ate and laughed , then walked among the pine colection . She gave me a car ride to the town , i took the bus . Giny doesn't have photografs of her face , didn't have kids , didn't painted nothing , never wrote a poem , never composed a song , never built a house ....nothing never , when she dies her existence will just vanish fron the world . i like to imagine this . It is pure freedon . Courage . She is a pure spirit .
Ciau Giny , Ciau Misty Montain ... hope to see you both before the orks find you with their progress .
3 hours later arrived to Sao Paulo City , took the subway , walked a lot , crossed the avenues ... back to this house , hugged the dogs and cats , we rolled on the floor and jumped among the furnitures .
New life . Let's start now .
one day i am going to belong to something good , you will see - by Caio Fernandes - 2009
one day i am going to belong to something good , you will see - by Caio Fernandes - 2009
curving my spine into sterile steps
the arms of the stagnant air taste like sweaty wood
yesterday the white light raised me tall
i can't hold it . don't know why or how
moviments of my sholders opening passages among molecules of dead dreams
the white ballet licking silences
the white-grey ballet spining solitude inside my throat
there is no space in my life
i had to close doors behind me , but nothing got opened in front of ...
i had to close all the doors of rejection and hate and it will not get opened again
now you comb the curly points of your bright hair
siting gold over the dusty corners of my lips . beyond my fingers . beyond my chest
you forced me to say to a friend :
" one day i am going to belong to something good , you will see "
i don't know what to do , keep streching out the neck to the ignorance
burning embers covered by ashes is the only feeling i have now
i am blind and just have a blind faith
curving my spine into sterile steps
the arms of the stagnant air taste like sweaty wood
yesterday the white light raised me tall
i can't hold it . don't know why or how
moviments of my sholders opening passages among molecules of dead dreams
the white ballet licking silences
the white-grey ballet spining solitude inside my throat
there is no space in my life
i had to close doors behind me , but nothing got opened in front of ...
i had to close all the doors of rejection and hate and it will not get opened again
now you comb the curly points of your bright hair
siting gold over the dusty corners of my lips . beyond my fingers . beyond my chest
you forced me to say to a friend :
" one day i am going to belong to something good , you will see "
i don't know what to do , keep streching out the neck to the ignorance
burning embers covered by ashes is the only feeling i have now
i am blind and just have a blind faith
SUBMERSE LIFE - POCKET DEATH / LINDA IS A SLUT - by Caio Fernandes
Submerse Life - Pocket Death/ Linda is a Slut - by Caio Fernandes - 2009
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS POST WITH IMAGE VISIT MEIN WELT
Linda isn't the real name . i always protect who i love .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
fish scales ; seems to be fragil but are there for thousands of years .
she opened fissures among colorful reflections over her silence .
she did .
and was beautiful ...
fron here , far way i saw ribs shining .
.
she walking down the street
hands in pockets
curved
she opened fissures among colorful reflections
i saw ribs shining
i felt a vacuum of logic between it but fulfilled with white light around .
.
but someone saw fear
.......someone felt fear
and called her slut .
and everybody called her slut .
.
wouldn't be fair even if it was true
so let's go !!
everybody repeat this till start to make sense and be true !!!!
camon !!! everybody :
.
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
.
submerse life - pocket death , Linda .
"do not judge for to do not be judged - Jesus ..." yes , nobody reads this part of the Bible ( my favorite one ) .
Welcome Linda !! this is Mein Welt . nobody will judge you here .
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS POST WITH IMAGE VISIT MEIN WELT
Linda isn't the real name . i always protect who i love .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
fish scales ; seems to be fragil but are there for thousands of years .
she opened fissures among colorful reflections over her silence .
she did .
and was beautiful ...
fron here , far way i saw ribs shining .
.
she walking down the street
hands in pockets
curved
she opened fissures among colorful reflections
i saw ribs shining
i felt a vacuum of logic between it but fulfilled with white light around .
.
but someone saw fear
.......someone felt fear
and called her slut .
and everybody called her slut .
.
wouldn't be fair even if it was true
so let's go !!
everybody repeat this till start to make sense and be true !!!!
camon !!! everybody :
.
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
LIN . DA . IS . A . SLUT
.
submerse life - pocket death , Linda .
"do not judge for to do not be judged - Jesus ..." yes , nobody reads this part of the Bible ( my favorite one ) .
Welcome Linda !! this is Mein Welt . nobody will judge you here .
not tonight, amigo - by Caio Fernandes
not tonight amigo - the curse of the heat by Caio Fernandes 2009 / acrylic on canvas by Caio Fernandes 2007
the skin upon the dark table under the weak light .
so quiet .
involving running blood .
speed of destiny into the veins . burning hot .
.
wings of lost moments breathing vacuos of strange blue dimensions . they're gone .
love drops and vanishs as beautiful landscapes this body never belonged
heat heat heat . be naked is the only experience i can have
.
i sit on the bed . it is a fact . the silence pulsing high temperetures .
i swallow my saliva . it has many sounds .
i spit my last thought . it is blank .
.
there are no galaxies inside my chest anymore .
the heat consumed this for feed the space and air .
who needs space and air ? this is so tridimensional and sufocating .
.
geting up . i walk with no direction . slow ....
to live inside a body is just to be a spot of flesh among heavy atoms .
but under this heat .
to live inside a body is just to be a steaming spot of flesh among sticky atoms with no doors .
arrested into an existence that doesn't allow me to exist .
.
lips don't want to wake up . they rest on my arms . muscles are good pillows .
feets exausted on the floor . ground is such a geografic waist .
no other alternative but to lay down into the shadows of the bed . the warm sheets smashing solitude against my neck .
my cock gets hard exploding . the first sign of real life in me .
- " not tonight amigo . there is nothing for us here " .
leave a message after the beep - by Caio Fernandes 2010
leave a message after the beep - by Caio Fernandes 2010
the space flaps among vacuums of my chest .
a piece of red absence hiden into my pocket . i take out my pants .
my lips could reach the atoms of bright dreams moving behind wings of white light now , that i have learned about the diference between images fron heart and feelings fron imagination ......
so why don't i have all the taste melting completely on me ?
the fast moviments of low clouds revel montains before surronded by a green soft atmosphere ...when the golden sunshines touch the trees on the top , the montains start to dive into the sea in silence .
the predominant clear blue of this subtle dance licks my forehead flirting with my spine .
destiny , as birds in spirit with hound's nose , tracing the next galaxy to hunt and the next bless to take .
a soul climbs the emptiness , both exist towards the same target ......
the space flaps among my chest , the dusty table and furs of fragil sensations .
you know what ? i am going to watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S 's dvd and eat pop-corn . happiness is coming anyway , i just have to trust and relax . if the phone starts to ring , the machine will say i am working on my next painting , leave a message after the beep and thank you very much !
the space flaps among vacuums of my chest .
a piece of red absence hiden into my pocket . i take out my pants .
my lips could reach the atoms of bright dreams moving behind wings of white light now , that i have learned about the diference between images fron heart and feelings fron imagination ......
so why don't i have all the taste melting completely on me ?
the fast moviments of low clouds revel montains before surronded by a green soft atmosphere ...when the golden sunshines touch the trees on the top , the montains start to dive into the sea in silence .
the predominant clear blue of this subtle dance licks my forehead flirting with my spine .
destiny , as birds in spirit with hound's nose , tracing the next galaxy to hunt and the next bless to take .
a soul climbs the emptiness , both exist towards the same target ......
the space flaps among my chest , the dusty table and furs of fragil sensations .
you know what ? i am going to watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S 's dvd and eat pop-corn . happiness is coming anyway , i just have to trust and relax . if the phone starts to ring , the machine will say i am working on my next painting , leave a message after the beep and thank you very much !
a visit : the angel fron north by Jasmine's magic .
a visit : the angel fron north by Jasmine's magic .
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS POST WITH ALL THE IMAGES VISIT MEIN WELT
...... the golden shines of the afternoon were fading being replaced by dark clouds coming fron east with promisses of mercyless storm .
for the last 46 days it has rained much more than should , on the lower lands near here people is losing everything and dieing .
i finished my cup of white tea , eating the last slice of brown bread , told the dogs to come inside , the cats were prepared in their favorite corners of the shack , to sleep and pretend the world doesn't exist . the 2 kittens playing under the sofa with pink petals they found .
upstairs was a blank canvasses calling me to be started . not now dear . it is time to open the chackras and all the energetic spots and get prepared to pray for God recieving Jesus white light .
dogs made a weid bark . diferent . they smelled or listened something on the front door .
when i am going to check what it is , one second before to open the door i felt a silver sutil and tired light . as it had traveld for along time .
among flying leafs was a white shining object with my name in it .
before to do anything i looked to both sides to see if it wasn't a trap of evil spirits or orks that use to walk on these hills . but not . it didn't look like ork craft , it looked so pure and tender . a good energy came fron it , so i snaped up fast but carefuly . so soft !! almost any weight . bringing inside the shack i could see it was a thin kind of delicated paper . the green light of the aquariuns allowed me to read on the other side another name : Jasmine !!! it came fron the fairy of the distand nothern forests , she is a fairy of a family called Nature Whispers fron the ancient lands of the very very distant north across the ocean ! i was there before in one of my adventures !! i love that place and admire the beautiful magic they perform there !!
i went to the laboratory of Mein Welt , that the foreigners call studio , holding this .... this .... real gift .
well , i am a half blood elf-man fron the golden-green shadowed woods of the south , but live barefooted and in peace as a hobbit , and as a hobbit i love gifts !!!! just can't resist then ....
carefuly i start to open ... inside the paper had a tube of earthy colors and worderful lines painted by fairy brushies , on the side a small note writen with sweet letters wishing me good feelings . sure ! what else could i expect fron the fairy Jasmine ! i closed my eyes and sent toughts to her saying "thank you , i wish the same in bouble " .
a sutil purple perfume licked the ambient ( my home smells like 8 grains bread , mostard , apple and paint all the time ) .
i saw tiny objects together ... one more beautiful than other ...a lovely colection :
- 2 crispy flowers fron the nothern woods with an espetacular velevet touch
- one large seed very similar the ones i find here , with a great talent to reflect the light !
- one white-grey sea shell fron the nothern shores diferent of all i have in my colection of tropical sea shells . so pretty !!
- and a yellow- golden rock with tiny particular shines , it was certainly taken fron the montain of Jasmine's land , today this montain has been explored and devastated , destroyed by the orks .
i opened the tube by a transparent lid , the perfume dominated the place , so purple , but gave sensation of lights , sweet light geting inside all my senses . lights by sight , lights by smell , by touch , by taste , by earing .......... and took fron the tube a .. let me call parcel ... soft , stringed in a skillful way , but easy to open . a thin dark green rope tipical of the fairys . but what called my attention was the brown big feathers on it . again , with details of tiny shines . feathers of magic halks i am pretty sure !!
so i opened the parcel and there was a cocun made on natural fibers , the kind of fiber that the fairys like so much to work with . white and grey-green stripes . i know this cocun is going to help me on my next adventures when i go to the cold montains few hours fron here walking among fog and narrow paths in the woods far fron mans and orks sigth .
sundely the cocun opens as a womb and inside it came some shines in white blue and red colors . this is a very well knew combination of colors . distant people use to call this flag or something , i don't understand very much about .
but this was diferent of what people use to call , or know , or see ....roled ... roled .... OH MY GOD !!! it is an angel fron the north !!! an angel sleeping rolled on my table !!
it opens , spread the red wings !! purple perfume and silver light .... the angel , not a boy , not a girl , not human or animal : angel , asks me to see the place fron a tall place . i think it is fair . he tells me this is going to be his new home if i acept to adopt him . i agree , sure ! "you can live in my isolated distant shack if you want , you're very welcome here , red angel , any Jasmine's friend is my friend too " i said .
so i hanged him on the wall . he told me it was a very confortable wall , i haged the angel in a way he can move anytime he wants . i am pretty sure he can fly all the time he wishes to .
so it was my time alread to pray for God . and i told Him how happy i was , asked Him to bless all the fairys this afternoon specialy Jasmine .
ohh , it happened yesterday .
VISIT THE NATURES WHISPERS
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS POST WITH ALL THE IMAGES VISIT MEIN WELT
...... the golden shines of the afternoon were fading being replaced by dark clouds coming fron east with promisses of mercyless storm .
for the last 46 days it has rained much more than should , on the lower lands near here people is losing everything and dieing .
i finished my cup of white tea , eating the last slice of brown bread , told the dogs to come inside , the cats were prepared in their favorite corners of the shack , to sleep and pretend the world doesn't exist . the 2 kittens playing under the sofa with pink petals they found .
upstairs was a blank canvasses calling me to be started . not now dear . it is time to open the chackras and all the energetic spots and get prepared to pray for God recieving Jesus white light .
dogs made a weid bark . diferent . they smelled or listened something on the front door .
when i am going to check what it is , one second before to open the door i felt a silver sutil and tired light . as it had traveld for along time .
among flying leafs was a white shining object with my name in it .
before to do anything i looked to both sides to see if it wasn't a trap of evil spirits or orks that use to walk on these hills . but not . it didn't look like ork craft , it looked so pure and tender . a good energy came fron it , so i snaped up fast but carefuly . so soft !! almost any weight . bringing inside the shack i could see it was a thin kind of delicated paper . the green light of the aquariuns allowed me to read on the other side another name : Jasmine !!! it came fron the fairy of the distand nothern forests , she is a fairy of a family called Nature Whispers fron the ancient lands of the very very distant north across the ocean ! i was there before in one of my adventures !! i love that place and admire the beautiful magic they perform there !!
i went to the laboratory of Mein Welt , that the foreigners call studio , holding this .... this .... real gift .
well , i am a half blood elf-man fron the golden-green shadowed woods of the south , but live barefooted and in peace as a hobbit , and as a hobbit i love gifts !!!! just can't resist then ....
carefuly i start to open ... inside the paper had a tube of earthy colors and worderful lines painted by fairy brushies , on the side a small note writen with sweet letters wishing me good feelings . sure ! what else could i expect fron the fairy Jasmine ! i closed my eyes and sent toughts to her saying "thank you , i wish the same in bouble " .
a sutil purple perfume licked the ambient ( my home smells like 8 grains bread , mostard , apple and paint all the time ) .
i saw tiny objects together ... one more beautiful than other ...a lovely colection :
- 2 crispy flowers fron the nothern woods with an espetacular velevet touch
- one large seed very similar the ones i find here , with a great talent to reflect the light !
- one white-grey sea shell fron the nothern shores diferent of all i have in my colection of tropical sea shells . so pretty !!
- and a yellow- golden rock with tiny particular shines , it was certainly taken fron the montain of Jasmine's land , today this montain has been explored and devastated , destroyed by the orks .
i opened the tube by a transparent lid , the perfume dominated the place , so purple , but gave sensation of lights , sweet light geting inside all my senses . lights by sight , lights by smell , by touch , by taste , by earing .......... and took fron the tube a .. let me call parcel ... soft , stringed in a skillful way , but easy to open . a thin dark green rope tipical of the fairys . but what called my attention was the brown big feathers on it . again , with details of tiny shines . feathers of magic halks i am pretty sure !!
so i opened the parcel and there was a cocun made on natural fibers , the kind of fiber that the fairys like so much to work with . white and grey-green stripes . i know this cocun is going to help me on my next adventures when i go to the cold montains few hours fron here walking among fog and narrow paths in the woods far fron mans and orks sigth .
sundely the cocun opens as a womb and inside it came some shines in white blue and red colors . this is a very well knew combination of colors . distant people use to call this flag or something , i don't understand very much about .
but this was diferent of what people use to call , or know , or see ....roled ... roled .... OH MY GOD !!! it is an angel fron the north !!! an angel sleeping rolled on my table !!
it opens , spread the red wings !! purple perfume and silver light .... the angel , not a boy , not a girl , not human or animal : angel , asks me to see the place fron a tall place . i think it is fair . he tells me this is going to be his new home if i acept to adopt him . i agree , sure ! "you can live in my isolated distant shack if you want , you're very welcome here , red angel , any Jasmine's friend is my friend too " i said .
so i hanged him on the wall . he told me it was a very confortable wall , i haged the angel in a way he can move anytime he wants . i am pretty sure he can fly all the time he wishes to .
so it was my time alread to pray for God . and i told Him how happy i was , asked Him to bless all the fairys this afternoon specialy Jasmine .
ohh , it happened yesterday .
VISIT THE NATURES WHISPERS
Influences- Holandeses of the 17th centure-The Pictorial Supremacy-only friends ever-Irishs don't drop coins-Kristina-a couple of rats-by Caio Fernand
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I WOKE UP TODAY AND MADE THIS LIST OF THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY LIFE
i woke up today an made this list of things i like about me and my life .
fingers slide nightfalls of sensations as chains of crystal water geting broken in silence .
i open the window and the air was still blue virging by the morning .
so thin and easy to breath . .............
in a spiral of solitude all the pigments embrace the cold .
sutil day light lay on the bed .
again , and for the last time , i feel her cheap perfume taking place .
my dick is so exausted that i realise has no flesh on me anymore for be consumed by any femme .
wow! why are my arms , shouders , spine trembling ? why am i so empty ?
it is the beguining of a new day ! shouldn't i be renewed ?
i see all the women of my life embracing my legs as it was a shelter on these sheets , devoring my skin , bones , muscles .
get out your devils !! leave me alone ! i dispite you all !!!
i want to walk
i want to go to those clifs far away that i have discovered a long time ago , blessed by God by the fact that i had no one near to share .
why am i raped by spirits ?
why am i raped by my own needs ?
the sound of the filter of the times is geting louder , even so is just able to be listened if i pay attention on this engine .
i pay , i've payed .
i like the taste of pizza in the morning . i like the way women laugh when taken fron behind at the kitchen . i like to ignore art . i like to imagine flowers where is impossible to grow then . i like to emabassing myself in front of strangers . i like to listen Napalm Death loud watching the videos clips of Lady Gaga . i like the smell the fashion magazines . i like the idea that exists a place where you can kick mouths berafooted in the total dark . i like to live barefooted but hate having my feets durt . i like to tease women with absolut no responsability as i was on control , but then , they make me lose control . i like fresh tap water . i like pork meat even being vegan . i like that my Italian side of the blood makes me so helpless weak for PP . i like to explain to people that PP means : Pussy and Pasta . i like to have a nazi answer for everything . i like to truly believe i am a cat into mans body . i like to say all the writers are stupidy and have any real talent . i like to say all the artists are a bunch arrogant blinds believing that are able to see more than the other mortals . i like sauerkraut . i like sauerkraut with apples . i like the idea of geting married with an apple . i like Dijon mostard with strawberry ice cream . i like to see people get fucked by their own stupidity and say : well done . i like to say : "hate to say i told you so " . i like to be a retarded about math . i like to do not have a car in a city where you HAVE to have a car . i like to go to birthday party of the sons of my friends and be the only adult man that is single , has long hair , has no belly , that don't watch news on tv , don't understand about or follow football , don't talk about business , don't understand absolut nothing about cars , don't drink bear , don't eat the barbecue , don't travel on hollidays to those cheap places full of fat familys , bad arquiteture and hot dogs . i love to say i hate my country . i like to spend hours making a long a list of things i hate about my country and at the end realise it would be easier to say : i hate absolut every single thing ( i do this all the time ) . i like to wear women perfume . i like the way a woman starts to stink on bed after a couple of hours and exercises . i like my broad shoulders and the muscles of my chest ( i am really proud ) and the way they give me power . i like to be arrogant . i like to know one day i am going to go back to the lighted green warm sea and dive naked among the colorful reefs as i used to . i like to be sure that one day i am going to live in a cold montain with a big boobed woman that the only word she knows is "submission " . i like to buy the lottery ticket every week and always say : ohhh... i can feel this time i am going to win . i like to wave and send kisses to the high school girls on the side walk . i like to flirt with their mothers at the supermarket . i like to walk the dogs on the very cold nights . i like the fact my dogs look like cute drops of heaven but all the time someone aproachs doing that little voices "ohhh , look at then , they're so...." they bark , bite and fight scaring everyone around . i like to take shower and have on the clean warm cloths with the body still wet . i like to say that art is the biggest illusion and lie created by the man to people that say art is a sublime important thing and is in all the moments of our lifes ( is that the reason life sucks ? ) . i like to don't like to sin but when i sin , i sin for goooooood . i like to read Genesis and the New Testament every day , but have ignored all the Old Testament for the last 15 years . i like to worthship Jesus Christ in all its forms . i like to say that i was bourned to paint but i don't like to paint . i like the smel of pussy when i wake up . i like the smell of my dick when it smells like pussy in the morning . i like ALL the Ramones songs of all albuns with no exceptions but i like to say my favorites are " I don't care ( about this world about that girl )" and " I don't wanna be tammed , I don't wanna be learned " . i like the fact that i will never learn to speak correctly english , german and spanish .
i love , LOVE to make useless long lists of likes and dislikes , loves and hates , and hang on the wall of my studio as it was the most dogmatic truth on the Universe and believe that one day someone will add this on the Bible before Apocalypse .
fingers slide nightfalls of sensations as chains of crystal water geting broken in silence .
i open the window and the air was still blue virging by the morning .
so thin and easy to breath . .............
in a spiral of solitude all the pigments embrace the cold .
sutil day light lay on the bed .
again , and for the last time , i feel her cheap perfume taking place .
my dick is so exausted that i realise has no flesh on me anymore for be consumed by any femme .
wow! why are my arms , shouders , spine trembling ? why am i so empty ?
it is the beguining of a new day ! shouldn't i be renewed ?
i see all the women of my life embracing my legs as it was a shelter on these sheets , devoring my skin , bones , muscles .
get out your devils !! leave me alone ! i dispite you all !!!
i want to walk
i want to go to those clifs far away that i have discovered a long time ago , blessed by God by the fact that i had no one near to share .
why am i raped by spirits ?
why am i raped by my own needs ?
the sound of the filter of the times is geting louder , even so is just able to be listened if i pay attention on this engine .
i pay , i've payed .
i like the taste of pizza in the morning . i like the way women laugh when taken fron behind at the kitchen . i like to ignore art . i like to imagine flowers where is impossible to grow then . i like to emabassing myself in front of strangers . i like to listen Napalm Death loud watching the videos clips of Lady Gaga . i like the smell the fashion magazines . i like the idea that exists a place where you can kick mouths berafooted in the total dark . i like to live barefooted but hate having my feets durt . i like to tease women with absolut no responsability as i was on control , but then , they make me lose control . i like fresh tap water . i like pork meat even being vegan . i like that my Italian side of the blood makes me so helpless weak for PP . i like to explain to people that PP means : Pussy and Pasta . i like to have a nazi answer for everything . i like to truly believe i am a cat into mans body . i like to say all the writers are stupidy and have any real talent . i like to say all the artists are a bunch arrogant blinds believing that are able to see more than the other mortals . i like sauerkraut . i like sauerkraut with apples . i like the idea of geting married with an apple . i like Dijon mostard with strawberry ice cream . i like to see people get fucked by their own stupidity and say : well done . i like to say : "hate to say i told you so " . i like to be a retarded about math . i like to do not have a car in a city where you HAVE to have a car . i like to go to birthday party of the sons of my friends and be the only adult man that is single , has long hair , has no belly , that don't watch news on tv , don't understand about or follow football , don't talk about business , don't understand absolut nothing about cars , don't drink bear , don't eat the barbecue , don't travel on hollidays to those cheap places full of fat familys , bad arquiteture and hot dogs . i love to say i hate my country . i like to spend hours making a long a list of things i hate about my country and at the end realise it would be easier to say : i hate absolut every single thing ( i do this all the time ) . i like to wear women perfume . i like the way a woman starts to stink on bed after a couple of hours and exercises . i like my broad shoulders and the muscles of my chest ( i am really proud ) and the way they give me power . i like to be arrogant . i like to know one day i am going to go back to the lighted green warm sea and dive naked among the colorful reefs as i used to . i like to be sure that one day i am going to live in a cold montain with a big boobed woman that the only word she knows is "submission " . i like to buy the lottery ticket every week and always say : ohhh... i can feel this time i am going to win . i like to wave and send kisses to the high school girls on the side walk . i like to flirt with their mothers at the supermarket . i like to walk the dogs on the very cold nights . i like the fact my dogs look like cute drops of heaven but all the time someone aproachs doing that little voices "ohhh , look at then , they're so...." they bark , bite and fight scaring everyone around . i like to take shower and have on the clean warm cloths with the body still wet . i like to say that art is the biggest illusion and lie created by the man to people that say art is a sublime important thing and is in all the moments of our lifes ( is that the reason life sucks ? ) . i like to don't like to sin but when i sin , i sin for goooooood . i like to read Genesis and the New Testament every day , but have ignored all the Old Testament for the last 15 years . i like to worthship Jesus Christ in all its forms . i like to say that i was bourned to paint but i don't like to paint . i like the smel of pussy when i wake up . i like the smell of my dick when it smells like pussy in the morning . i like ALL the Ramones songs of all albuns with no exceptions but i like to say my favorites are " I don't care ( about this world about that girl )" and " I don't wanna be tammed , I don't wanna be learned " . i like the fact that i will never learn to speak correctly english , german and spanish .
i love , LOVE to make useless long lists of likes and dislikes , loves and hates , and hang on the wall of my studio as it was the most dogmatic truth on the Universe and believe that one day someone will add this on the Bible before Apocalypse .
Curva Ascendente - por Caio Fernandes
brisa laranja dourada
desce do ceu mais alto azul distante e friu
faz a curva em mim
por entre costelas e folego
voltando pra cima
partindo em direçao de ilhas e montanhas que imagino existirem
tudo tao distante e impalpavel
desenvolvo o paladar para brilhos agudos
silencio, corpo
concreto rachado por todos os lados
estou cercado
agora uma brisa fosca salgada quente.
nao deixo sentimentos derreterem
e serem dragados pelas fendas de cimento
nao deixo o odio crescer pelos braços e pescoço
mantenho meus amores verdes e umidos
um toque artesanal e doce
um passo apos o outro
a luta mais insana para se manter a sanidade
nao vejo os passaros daqui
mas respiro com eles
desce do ceu mais alto azul distante e friu
faz a curva em mim
por entre costelas e folego
voltando pra cima
partindo em direçao de ilhas e montanhas que imagino existirem
tudo tao distante e impalpavel
desenvolvo o paladar para brilhos agudos
silencio, corpo
concreto rachado por todos os lados
estou cercado
agora uma brisa fosca salgada quente.
nao deixo sentimentos derreterem
e serem dragados pelas fendas de cimento
nao deixo o odio crescer pelos braços e pescoço
mantenho meus amores verdes e umidos
um toque artesanal e doce
um passo apos o outro
a luta mais insana para se manter a sanidade
nao vejo os passaros daqui
mas respiro com eles
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