Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Only rant.... don't need to take out your pants and jump on it .

Only rant.... don't need to take out your pants and jump on it .

OK, first of all: I love to rant . And what I say one day so strongly isn't rare to do not take so seriously on the next day or do not even believe on that . Or believe even more going to the last consequences . There is no logic and this is the way my brain works . If your Anglo-Saxon way to see the world sometimes doesn't match with mine... don't worry , it isn't an scandal... you don't need to lose nights thinking about this and hating me . It is natural and exists a huge world out there where people thinks in a very different way ( not wrong or right , better or worse ) than the way you learn at the school... don't take so seriously, it is just another person's opinion. All the time I post what I am thinking at the moment it causes huge polemic. Why ? Last week had an explosion of people posting hateful opinions about me on Tumblr because a text I posted here . It made me lose followers on Blogspot , Tumblr and Posterous . hahah!! I had to delete it in all the blogs because was tired to answer and be cursed . Even on Wordpress where I never receive any comments , I received few ones complaining about in less than 2 hours . What is Funny is that the ones that complain , curse me , stop to follow my blogs, and posted horrible things about me on Tumblr last week aren't Neo-Nazis , Fanatic Muslims , Buddhist Monks , Christians Ministers , K.K.K., South American Guerrilheiros, ..... no ... are the ones that preach about tolerance and democracy , the ones that believe tolerance must to be the foundation of the society. The ones that are always the first to talk about freedom of speech and thoughts. Those are the ones that throw rocks on me all the time I open my mouth . This is a blog !! If I can't rant on my own blog where am I going to do that ? I'm front of my aquarium to my fishes drinking green tea . I mean... my country came out from dictatorship and still today the politics on the power use sentences as : "there is too much freedom of press, people are abusing " . Yesterday the president made an long speech complaing that people aren't respecting his candidates for this election and the we should shut up. If I can't come to a blog and say what I think... come on !! People on Internet behave as Third World dictators . Every body gets offended because what I say isn't " acceptable " . It is what I said on the last post when people got offended and I had to delete . It is very convenient to tell me to shut up. Yes , this is what they want . People from poor countries must to have any real opinion about nothing because it isn't acceptable . People like me can't express themselves , we should go to the factories and deny our existences producing cheap products to be consumed in the other countries . People like me can't have voice , face ... we must to hide ourselves for the rest of our lives in a way that is more convenient for the citizens of the First World countries. Who wants to remember we exists, right ? If people from my origins produce art , must to be something appropriate to be consumed as an exotic inoffensive thing by the ones in Manhattan , London , Berlin.... I mean... We must to produce something that makes the guy when he goes to the gallery look and feel good with himself saying : "Oh , this is interesting, different , I support his cause , I am a nice open minded sofisticated liberal person , now I can go home in peace and drink a good wine before to sleep with peace of mind because I saw a fucking artists fron a Thrid World country and supported it, i am so special smart and good" . That is the reason i dislike when people refer to me as "Brazilian artist " because following this labels has all the weight of the expectation that i have to do something "different" and nice ... something like a tropical circus monkey , a Carmen Miranda or a stereotype of contemporary art that is what is well accepted today's market . Freedom never comes after the "Brazilian artist" label. This is for sure . But i would be very unfair if i put all the blame on the place I came from. No . It happens with everyone in everywhere today more than ever. The world never was so closed to different opinions and ideas as it has been today .

I was thinking this afternoon how ridiculous have been the 'rockers' for the last decade . You see lots of guys making that proud big headed expressions , putting their noses up and saying : "I am a rocker " " I am a rock star " " I make rock'n'roll" . It is so ridiculous . I never trust an artist that can talk so sure about its work. If you see the bands of the history that made History and changed aesthetic values for real... they on interviews never say " I make rock'n'roll". I remember the few real bands I saw in activity , they were never able to explain their own sounds. They real ones are like that . Art is like that . I never trust on people the can talk about their production so sure of it . It means they aren't really creating, investigating , only reproducing values or formulas that already exist . The biggest artists i saw in my life when asked about their works used to make a pretty dumb face because didn't know how to answer that . What i posted last week was a bit about that ... and i receive a waterfall of rage on my head , still today, one week later i have received very impolite comments about. Sorry if what i say makes you feel that your mask falls and you get angry. But people that is so sure of what is art and what is producing don't have too much to offer . People that are so sure about themselves only reproduces what was already made . It is easy to be sure that way. I am sure when i am making pasta .. it is a recipe that exists for generations. But i am not sure when i am painting or writing or living . Because i do it my way . and my way is brand new, there is no recipe or really concepts to guide me . And if you call this "intellectual talk " as i was accused more than one time before . I am sorry for you. because if you aren't concerned about the nature of what you produce it means you are producing very shallow stuff that doesn't add anything to the world or even to your life . Maybe you get happy to do what was already done . But i don't get satisfied with that and want to have freedom to express my dissatisfaction and keep searching without a narrow minded asshole protesting because my position on this world isn't convenient to him/her and its pathetic sterile life with 'acceptable works" being produced .

Other thing i want to talk is about my book and the way it was written. Every one knows because i posted it already on my blog that i wrote this in English because i want it to be read by everyone . Trust me , it is a pleasure to me when i write and communicate in English. Really . It completely spoilt me because now when i write poetry in my own language i feel totally incomplete as something was missing. I love to express myself as i am doing now .

But here comes the others ( inferno ) . The defenders of the language . Always from USA and England ( the ones that read my book and are fron Germany , Holland , Spain , Austria , Italy, Brazil.... dodn't complain about language , and some Americans and Englishs too ). Really , how can such nice people have a such horrible language ? In England after a while , the only ones i accepted to have contact was the Englishes, the original ones , not the immigrants or their descendants. The Englishes were that most sympathetic , polite , honest , and nicer people i have met in my entire life . I never get tired to say this because it is true and for all the thousands of times they were kind with me saving my life or only making my day . The Americans were the best friend I made in Europe . Maybe because people really hates Americans in Europe they are very nice with the few ones that don't show any prejudice against then. It was my case .... i will never forget the Americans i met out there because they were very friendly people i could trust. We helped each other always that was necessary. Not talking about the 20Th century North American cultural production in all the areas that ( and i am not saying it only for saying ) really saved my life , my brain , my ethic and moral values , my faith in God . Everything good i have inside me has a foot in the American culture somehow. But people.... come on !!! Do you really need to bitch on me giving a such hard time because of the way i wrote this book ? And it because i showed it for a bit more of half dozen of people and wasn't even published yet. I mean... isn't enough i speak and write on your language trying to be nice and social.... do i have to think like you too ? Do i have to destroy all the structure in my brain and adopt yours ? Aren't you being too harsh ? And people say it isn't correct English language. What is correct English language ? It doesn't exist. A language that needs so much phrasal verbs , idioms , slang's and have no real rules for prepositions can't be right. A language that uses resources as "get, got , do , did...." can't be considered as a correct language . It changes everyday and begs for improvisation all the time because of the lack of a real structure . And I am not even talking about the huge gap created by the accents , what doesn't happen with most part of the occidental languages. So should i stop to think on my own language too. Isn't enough i try to write in a way that people around the world can understand ? Do you really need to tell me that my text isn't correct and conventional . I have two examples :

One : Sure I am not comparing my self , but i even should because would be fun . But if English was a language with such good structure Shakespeare wouldn't need to create so much new words for try to express himself . And i bet that if he was alive now and wrote a book with lots of new words as he did people would bitch on him much more than what happened on his time . Two : Is my text hard to read ? Hard to understand what i mean sometimes ? It makes me remember the last week on Facebook, Jasmine , and i think later Momo Luna sent me a post where i should list my 15 favorite albums of all times. On my list , at least 10 of then were albums very hard for me to listening on the first 5 times . Were albums that i bought and hated first even regretting for have spent money with that. I didn't like , didn't understand what was happening , didn't follow the musics ... these albums years later , 10 , 15 years later are the 15 top favorite of a collection where I have more than 500 albums considered favorites, i loved to have made that list of 15 favorites and spent the entire last week listeneing then again . The same with many of my favorite movies , books and art pieces, they are new languages, it isn't easy to get at first .

I am sorry if you spent the entire life consuming jelly, Mcdonalds, MTV hits and All Disney movies. Let me tell you one thing: Real forms of expressions don't have label , aren't easy to digest, and aren't easy for the creator to talk about or explain . It happens . If you have contact with my production, welcome to a world were things aren't logic , easy and acceptable . I am not going to chew you food and put it gently in your belly . Forget about . It has an entire industry of billions of dollars doing this for you, wanting to please you. Isn't necessary to demand it from me . My book is hard to read , is hard to digest for many reasons , and i am proud of that .

What do you expect about a book that talks about a guy the lives in a global world "full of tolerance and human rights" being excluded of it ? No , sorry , i didn't write a romantic comedy . I believe Hollywood won't buy it.

So people . Take easy . If it is so hard to deal with me I am sorry , I didn't mean to be a such pain in the ass only for say what I think on Internet. For paint what i can ( not what i want because i have no control of what happens in my studio, and i am not saying that for looking cool ) . For write what i thing and feel. It has been hard enough to me for all these years , all this life having to deal with my head... image with people "shooting" against me because of what i post on Internet, on my own blogs.... It so ironic and unfair . My grandfather left Europe because Hitler was after him. My father was arrested by the local dictators . And now i can't say what i think on my own blog . The difference is that now nobody can put the blame on any government. Now the dictatorship comes from people . The ones that have their own blogs and post what they feel like to do and say ... this people now comes to tell me to shut up and change my way to think . Don't you think you are too narrow minded and unfair values telling people what is right or wrong to think ? Don't you think you are behaving as people that begs for do not have freedom . Calling me names and criticizing my production as have happened gives reason to your own governments and big companys to start to control the press as have happened in all the called "Occidental free world" . It isn't argument anymore... it is violence and Nazism. Remember , Nazism isn't about race or nationality . It is about standards, the psture you take about the ones that are diferent.


Ok, after to spend the evening drinking lots of green tea and geting high with cafeine, maybe I can post this at 9:50 pm.

Please ... you don't need to get angry or ofended with all i wrote . It is only a cucaracha's rant. Nobody gives a shit for what we think anyway .

Don't worry , tomorrow you are going to meet lots of me and ignore our existence while we do all the dishes , work on the garden , clean the office and say : "Oh , sorry Sir, thank Sir . excuse me Sir , Yes Sir......have a nice day Sir .

I am so happy for living in a Global Multcultural United World with so many tolerance for all the diferences .

Have a nice day everyone . And a wonderful weekend !!!